I've always wanted someone to treat me like a selfish brat for voicing my feelings! You're such a good person!

If you can't tell, that was sarcasm. Heavy, heavy sarcasm.

Honetly, do you not understand that it would bother me if you started dating him? Really? Well then, you are sadly mistaken. I am perfectly aware that we broke up last year; I am perfectly aware that you like him quite a lot; I am perfectl aware that you two have more in common than he and I ever did or will; and I am perfectly aware that he is planning on asking you out. So, if I politely ask you politely decline because I would feel very uncomfortable around both of you, why are you treating me like I'm the most selfish person on the planet? Are you really that immature and shallow? Why, exactly, would you think it was okay to date my ex in the first place? We both know what happened last time that happened and we are both perfectly aware that situations similar to this often ruin great friendships, so why would you even consider proceeding?

I'm tired of your crap; I'm tired of you getting mad at me for having a boyfriend and then pretending like nothing ever happened; I'm tired of you flirting shamelessly with my ex and then deciding to tell me what happens when you two are alone together. Do you honestly believe that this doesn't hurt me in te least? Well, news flash for you sweetie, it does. A lot. So, do me a favor, yeah? Next time you decide to like someone I've previously dated or liked: don't even bother telling me. Deal with it on your own.

Oh, and another thing, stop getting mad at me for being upset. I'm sorry if I'm a human being and have feelings. I'm sorry that I just so happen to have strong feelings towards certain subjects and that I tend not to voice them until it may be too late. I'm sorry, okay? Are you fucking happy now?